1 month ago on 17 January 2012 @ 12:42pm + 2,552 notes
via emilymaddox7 (originally emilymaddox7)
# kurt hummel
# ryan murphy

Because Glee is really the Let's-All-Pee-On-Kurt show.

  • Kurt: When will Finn love me?
  • Ryan: Never. He's straight.
  • Kurt: Can I stop being bullied at least?
  • Ryan: No, it's only going to get worse as the season progresses.
  • Kurt: Well...At least I have my dad.
  • Ryan: Lol wait until Grilled Cheesus.
  • Kurt: Is he going to be okay?
  • Ryan: Eventually. I should probably let you meet a cute guy to make up for it.
  • Kurt: Awesome! When do we date?
  • Ryan: You don't. He's straight, too.
  • Kurt: Well whose gay?
  • Ryan: You know that bully? Karofsky? The one that pushes you into lockers all the time and makes your life a living hell? Yeah, well, he's going to force himself on you, stealing your first kiss.
  • Kurt: You've got to be kidding me.
  • Ryan: Don't worry. I'm going to introduce you to a handsome, dapper, private school crooner to make it up to you. Oh, and he's gay.
  • Kurt: Great! So can I date him?
  • Ryan: You have to chase him. He prefers the hippie that works at the gap to you. Then he makes out with Rachel.
  • Kurt: Does he ever love me back?
  • Ryan: After your pet dies, yes.
  • Kurt: You killed my pet?!
  • Ryan: Yup. Just like I killed your chances of getting into your dream college. Your application is horrible.
  • Kurt: Why?!
  • Ryan: You try out for the lead in the musical but don't get it because you're "too feminine". A lot of people make fun of you for it and it really gets you down. You run for president to make up for it, but lose to Brittany.
  • Kurt: That's horrible.
  • Ryan: I know. That's probably why you cry all the time.
  • Kurt: At least I have Blaine, though. Right?
  • Ryan: I suppose so. I'm cutting your car make out scene, though. Also the scene where he buys you a Christmas present. And you're going to be the only one in the club without a Valentine this year.
  • Kurt: Jesus, Ryan Murphy. Why don't you just have me get hit by a freaking bus?!
  • Ryan Murphy: Hmm.
  • Kurt: Shit.
Source:emilymaddox7
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